Have you heard the news? My new book Coach to Coach officially released yesterday!
As you can probably imagine, just like having a new child, I have been dreaming of where this book will go and the people the book will someday meet. As a result of my new “offspring,” I have also been talking about it with anyone I meet. After telling them about my first parable book, a common question I keep receiving about Coach to Coach is:
“Who is this book for?”
I guess you can believe I get some confused looks when I answer them with:
“This book is for me!”
On the surface, this answer may sound superficial and materialistic as though I wrote the book in hopes of making money or some best-seller list. Anyone who knows about the book industry, however, knows that’s not the case. Since few people ever make money from or bestseller lists with their books, many people write a book for a similar reason: they felt compelled to put their ideas to paper and share it with the world. So, I wrote the book because I had an intrinsic purpose that would not let me go to the grave without freeing the coaching information I had inside. Especially because I knew it that could help so many people.
The book, therefore, is for me not because of the hope for extrinsic gain, but for the goal of intrinsic fulfillment.
Rooney Rule: When your motives are intrinsic, you will pull out your best work from inside.
OK, my initial answer wasn’t exactly complete. Although I told you this book is for me, I have to admit I also wrote the book for you.
Coach to Coach is for any coach, parent, spouse, boss, co-worker, teammate or family member who wants to do a better job at positively influencing the people around them and help those people get closer to reaching their dreams. It is a book for anyone hoping to inspire someone else. So, what started out as a book just for me is really a book for anyone.
Over the last year of the book’s development, there were many points when I wanted to quit. Just like with you and your work, there are probably internal reasons that keep you going when the going gets tough. And like the yearly studies that state workers are rarely driven to their best by money and bonuses, you have also probably discovered that the extrinsic carrots rarely carry you as long or as far as those intrinsic rewards.
Every year there is another study that proves money is not why people keep a job. Eventually people make the discovery that fulfillment and alignment are more important. I have held a number of previous jobs that just didn’t align with my ultimate purpose. As a result, I may have gone through the motions for the immediate extrinsic rewards, but it was not only never my best work, but each one of those rewards was also fleeting. They might help fill your monetary bank account, but they can deplete your emotional and spiritual ones.
I am not saying not to generate money. Or that money is not important. But I am saying that how you make that money and the work you produce will be maximized when what you do is aligned with what is most significant to you. So here are the first 3 of the 5 big questions I have for you to answer today in order to find more significance:
1. What is driving you right now?
2. What are you passionate about that could bring out your best?
3. What would be the perfect alignment of your drivers and passion?
Do your work and career seem uninspired? Perhaps you are focusing more on the extrinsic than the intrinsic. How do I know? Because it was happening to me. I was spending a lot of my time counting “likes” and reading “comments.” I was measuring myself and value in “followers” and “posts.” It was empty work that was not sustainable and rarely left me feeling good inside.
But my gut was calling for something more significant. Something evergreen. It knew there was an intersection of what I was passionate about and what the world needed. By finally listening to that calling, my intrinsic needs forced me to sit down to write. And ever since typing the first few words, I have been on fire for the project. (That again is why I mentioned at the start that Coach to Coach is partly for me.)
To write the book, I had to go from the extrinsic to the intrinsic. Without that shift, the book would still be sitting in my head as I chased another dollar or download. When you make that change, that is when your magic will come too. But you have to first ask yourself what is driving you.
Here are two more classic life questions to answer:
4. “What would you do if you had all the money in the world?”
5. “What would you do with your life if you knew you could not fail?”
Although those may sound cliche, these questions are the ultimate roadmap how to remove the extrinsic rewards from your life to discover what really intrinsically motivates you.
So instead of just reading them, I am challenging you to spend some deep thought and time and answer them. “What really would you be doing on a daily basis if you had all the money in the world?”
And don’t answer too fast. Of course, at first your answer of having you feet in the sand on an exotic beach may sound inviting, but as I have learned from mentors much wealthier and productive than I, “24 hours is a long time to have nothing to do.” In fact, each one of these people shared with me that once they had removed the extrinsic demands of just trying to make a buck, that is when their true greatness emerged.
Me? What would I do if I had all the money I needed? I would still love to travel, coach, workout, spend time with my family and write. Those are the things with which I am motivated intrinsically and therefore again explain my original answer why Coach to Coach is for me.
So what intrinsically motivates you?
My advice would be to ask yourself these same questions, create your answers then start taking steps to make sure you spend as much of your life there as possible. When you do, your greatness and experience of true success will have no choice but to shine through.
Success isn’t how much money you have. Success is discovering the intersection of your passion and something the world needs and then spending your life’s work doing that with people you care about.
If you want even more tips on how to find that intersection, you have to read Coach to Coach.
I promise it contains another important exercise that will help you to not only be at your best, but also how to bring out the best in someone else.
I really know it can help you increase your significance in the life of someone else. And that is why I wrote it for you.
Happy Birthday Coach to Coach!
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